Whether on a stage, in an arena, or attempting a more intimate performance, the engagement of the relationship with others is the key driver of effectiveness. It’s not about you or your gift. It’s about your teammate. There is a recipe. Consider these three ingredients:

Ingredient #1: Participate, don’t spectate.

  • Engage in the moment. Your body knows what to do.
  • When you step outside the moment to spectate, performance suffers.
  • Learn to find your zone and stay within it.

Ingredient #2: It’s all about the other person.

  • Focus on the subject of your efforts (not your efforts).
  • Take loving care of the person (people) with whom you interact.
  • Allow their needs to come ahead of yours.

Ingredient #3: Experiment, explore, and discover.

  • Be willing to abandon the agenda and see where things go.
  • Allow curiosity to unfold. There’s always a new learning moment.
  • Enjoy the ride. Navigate the twists and turns.
  • Savor the afterglow.

When performance is engaged, problem-solving empowers continuous improvement which, in turn, enables enjoyment. It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to perfect a golf shot or giving a keynote speech. When you are in the zone, subject and object become one. You and your teammates are not separate. By taking care of others, you take care of yourself.